This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
