# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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