So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
