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it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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