I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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