Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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