my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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