I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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