sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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