you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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