you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
