it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
