? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
