just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
