He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
