I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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