i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
