Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
