how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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