he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
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