Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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