please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
