i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
