Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Barsexuality is the new black.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
