All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
