Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
