He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
