you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
we're so committed to being not committed
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
