All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
In other news, I just burned my penis
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
