xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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