Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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