she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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