I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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