Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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