I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
