well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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