Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
