sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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