I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
the raccoons are back...
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