you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
