I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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