I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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