I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
