I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
you never un-have a 4some
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
