Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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