She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Randomize