Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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