By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
