awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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