Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
