That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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