he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
wow bdsm is so cute
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
