Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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