The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
