this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
