so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
