When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
