how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
