that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
