He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
