4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
