so that wasnt chicken after all
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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