Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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