just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
