Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
