I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
