You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
