someone get that fucking seahorse.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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