everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I checked into jail on foursquare
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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