My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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