I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
