I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
