***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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