the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
