So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
