you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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