I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize