I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
